Thursday, February 15, 2007

IT FINALLY HIT ME


I have to be honest. Lately I have felt like a grump, no joy, irritable, crying at almost everything, or the feeling of just wanting to cry for nothing, short tempered, oh the list goes on. I just could not figure out why. Then this morning we did our bible lesson. We studied Mary, Martha, and their brother Lazarus whom Jesus raised from the dead. That is when it finally hit me. I just broke down started crying. Today is Feb 15 and my Dad went to be with the Lord on Feb 18, 2001. The day is approaching and I can feel it. So I basically explained to the boys how I felt and why I had been acting this way. To forgive me.

I am very grateful that I know without a doubt that my Dad is "absent from the body and present with the Lord." I am grateful for the teachings my Dad taught me, for the example he was to me. For his testimony in following the Lord no matter what. For his journals that we cherish. For his "mistakes" in which he tickled us till we could no longer breathe or us girls had to go to the bathroom! :)

I wonder how long these feelings will creep up on my every Feb 18ish.

7 comments:

Laura said...

I am so sorry for your grief. I will be praying extra for you-
[{Hugs}]

rcsnickers said...

Thanks Laura -- I actually feel better since I have gotten it off my chest, so to speak.

Letisha

Audrey said...

That must be really hard. I will pray for you specifically tom.

I'm glad you got the card. The poem is (I think) one that someone had posted on MOMYS a long time ago and I just happened to be cleaning off my documents when I found it there. I thought it was perfect timing. I dont know who the actual author was though.

Yes, Robs test is today...please lift him up as he is very discouraged and feels he will not pass.

Have a great day!

Kim said...

I love this picture of you and dad!!

Elise said...

I know this is an older post, but I will continue to think of you, and hope that things are getting lighter, easier. That the sun is shining brightly!
(((hugs)))

rcsnickers said...

Kim--

I wish I had realized this earlier, but this picture was taken in Maggie Valley, NC where you are going soon. I bet Mom would remember exactly where. But it was the winter of '96 when we went skiing with Brian and Stephanie at Cattahoochie, NC.

I too love this picture. Plus I was wearing Brian's sweater which made it more special!

Letisha

rcsnickers said...

Thanks to everyone for the hugs and prayers! I know it is selfish of me to be feeling sad. I am not the only young person to have lost a parent.

Thanks anyway..

Letisha