I am going to have a teacher parent conference today! Here is how it would go.
I would walk into the classroom and sit down. The kind teacher would go on to describe my child during school.
"We have several problems with your child. Your child does not sit still. The child's constant request is to go out and ride the bike. The child is constantly talking out loud. In a one hour time period I heard the "F" word ten times. The horse farted, the pig farted, Ma'am even the rocket farted! The child moans at every request. I ask the child to write three sentences and I just handed the child a death sentence! I request the child to do a page of math and in one hour maybe one problem will be accomplished, MAYBE! Your child's favorite subject is art and will talk excessively about the exciting art lesson! All smiles and all learning. That gives me a glimpse of hope. Or that makes me sad, maybe I am not as good as a teacher as the art teacher is? I try not to get discouraged on that one. Another thing, your child has a really stuffy nose and it is draining. I have had to wipe it and of course, that was injury to the child! Or so the child acted like it was being injured.
Oh I am so sorry to have to ask this one. It is quite embarrassing, but do you actually feed your child? The child seems to always be hungry! I just wondered.... sorry to ask.
My final conclusion is this, can you teach your child at home? The child is too hard for me to handle. Thank you."
In reality this is describing six children.... you can guess which child is which. What fun!